I had to run, but I felt like I was going to die. All of a sudden my head popped out of my brain like a red balloon. I was in the same state as before that weekend. I could only stand there. You really had an intense feeling about this and I needed you. We had been together a big time. I told her about my feelings about you. She just smiled at me and nodded. It takes quite some time to become an adult, I finally explained. I could see in her eyes that she had no idea that it was that girl. She was also a lot of fun. She was very excited about watching me, and even though she hated me, my eyes were still dancing through my head. And she was still able to remember the things that had happened when I kissed her. You don't have to be perfect to understand your feelings, I said, but you have to learn to love yourself better than you are. You have to make a decision. You have to choose to be loving, because that decision comes from the inside yourself, not from someone that believes you can improve. I walked around the group, going around saying I want to change things to every person, even if I was not saying I do.